not all who wander are lost.

Each of us found in the other a piece of ourselves we lost some time ago.

It is a rather liberating feeling to realise that if I had another chance, I’d pass, thank you very kindly.  I have changed, blossomed, grown, and I am very close to being the me I want to be.

My dearest P, G, A, D, M, B & Co: you are a godsend. I cherish your friendship, and the gift of your high regard.  To see myself in your eyes is to see the person I would like to be. I wake up early every day, excited for a world which has people like you in it.

It is a very good thing to be me.

Losing a best friend is harder than losing a lover, to me, because they were the one who was supposed to always be there, love me no matter what.  But people change, and some things just aren’t meant to be. Though it was a hard thing to go through, the ending of such a friendship has ultimately proven a positive, as I am so much happier without the negativity that prevailed at the end.  I’ve learned that there are other kindred spirits out there to connect with, and life has gone from strength to strength since losing toxic friendship from my life.  The hurt of it all still hits me from time to time, but overall I’m reaching a place where I can simply look back on the friendship fondly.  I remember the good times we had, and the positive impact he had on me.  And I remember that the negative impact he had has made me a stronger person, and thus ultimately more self-confident, with a little help from those who stood by me, though I wasn’t at the time.

I’m still sad from time to time for the loss of such a precious friendship, but this too shall pass, as it did with friends who came and went before.  Instead I thank all my past friends who have impacted on me, for they helped make me who I am today; someone who is more open and loving than I was once able to be, more in command of my emotions and my body, and who is finally having the courage to chase my dreams. And I am so grateful for the friendships which endure - they are my true family.

I’m not a finished yet, and I hope I never am, otherwise what would be the point of life? But I am in a good place, loving my life and excited for what the future holds. There is magic in life, if only we will see it.

Yesterday a classmate brought us all roses because he felt everyone deserves to feel special on V Day, and a beautiful man made me dinner and waited on me because he felt that was what I deserved.

I wake each day before my alarm, so excited for the day ahead. I am exactly where I should be, and with who. For one perfect moment everything is as it should be.